The things that I learnt from a TED video and how it has impacted my life positively:
1) Things that don’t matter with people that matter:
I have realized that ego is really not important. We often confuse self-respect with our ego. I have started to analyze my important relationships on that front. Every time I feel bad about something or what someone said I first break it down into questions like: ‘What exactly am I feeling? Is it anger, frustration, pain? Is this related to my ego? Is there anyway that I can try and empathize with the person who is speaking to me? Can I try and understand where they are coming from?’ I know we normally don’t have time to process that many questions in a situation of conflict. But try and pull yourself back from it for 30 seconds only and analyze the situation. 90% of the times you don’t even need to respond right away. And you will notice that pulling back from the situation virtually in your mind will largely help your relationships and will enable you to solve conflicts in a calm manner. Yes I no longer try to be ‘right’ I try and be happy with my action and words. But lets be real, this formula doesn’t work always. At my work I am trying to apply the same positivity. Focusing on eliminating the negativity by asking questions like: ‘Is this anger really necessary? Can we go on without snapping or screaming or fighting? Does this thing really matter?’
So far a rocky ride, but it’s a pep talk every day
2) It all changes in a second, don’t wait for things to happen:
This is an area that I still need work on. Fear and anxiety of the what ifs and buts are far more challenging for me then getting up and going for scuba diving just because I really want to. I still have many thoughts in my mind that delay what I want to do. But I am atleast thinking of ways to be better on this. I have started to write more, I am more encouraged to apply crazy ideas to life because yes it all changes in a second and I don’t want to waste time only thinking about them, I want to DO them.
Still work in progress here
3) Don’t be afraid of failure or rejection:
After realizing that ego is not important and the fact that it can all change in a second I am a little less afraid of rejection. I have started to voice crazy ideas that come to my mind and I am really thinking it’s okay if people don’t like them. It is really okay if someone doesn’t like you. We are all made with different ingredients and I don’t have to like every one of them and vice versa they don’t have to like everything I do or even me. By applying this actively in my daily life I have started to be more accepting of other people, their ideas and even my own for myself. I am no longer hiding behind a wall – I am myself. I voice my ideas and opinions, keeping others respect in mind and I suddenly feel much lighter. I don’t have to be afraid of failure and rejection. Success is very subjective anyway. I can like the color red and you may hate it. It’s REALLY OKAY. It is a process of learning, evolving and self-improvement.
Makes me feel happier that I don’t have to focus on failures, I have to focus on learning and moving forward
The original video: